Directions from Cow Pie Junction to Podunk Point

FedEx driver stopped at my home, I was on the front steps. He must have figured, local fireman, I'll know where people live. So, he reads the address off to me; 1234 Anyway Lane, etc.. I was stumped. First, because new roads and drives pop up every week as a part of readdressing; and second we have no maps until the changes are complete.

Anyhoo.. I had the guy follow me to the post office, and we tried to get the post master (herein referred to as PM) to help out. I knew the name, and the family; as did he.. But damned if we knew where this lane was..

PM: Why don't we give (someone from the ambulance) a ring?

Me: Well, he does know where everyone lives... But, I don't think we have that kind of time.

...down to the fire hall we go...

Guy hands FOG1 the paper w/ the name and address...

FOG1: Yep, yep, oh yeah; they live out there on the left past that place where (name) wrecked his motorcycle about sixteen or seventeen years ago.

FOG2: No, no, that was over on (name) road, past where (name) used to live.

FOG1: No, (name), it's out there past where the side of that barn burned up.

FOG2: Well, that was before my time.

FOG1: Oh? Maybe. Well, so and so had that place for many years.

FOG2: So and so use to live out to that place, for a while, didn't she? You know, so and so's daughter.

FOG1: Yeah, I believe you're right. You know they made the best wine in their barn.

PM: Yeah, that sure was great stuff, my grandfather had a recipe from the old country.

FedEx guy: Dumb look.

Me: looks at watch.

FOG1: Yeah, sure was some great stuff, hey (me) you gonna' be round' later in case we get toned' out?

Me: Yeah, I'll be around.

FOG2: We got a meeting tonight, don't we?

Me: yeah;

FOG1: Believe so, you know back in the 60's, we had them at 7, instead of 8.

PM: yeah, that was when I was an active fireman.

FedEx guy: Walks out w/o anyone noticing

FOG1: What were we talking about?

FOG2: He was looking for that place out across from (name)'s farm, back in there on the left, you can see it from the road, the one we helped so and so put in a few years ago...

Me: Why didn't you just say that from square one?

FOG2: Guess I couldn't remember.

We all agree it's about lunch time, and depart in our separate ways.
I know where more wrecks and fires were, 10 years before I was born, than I can remember from the last ten years.. Only b/c that's the kind of directions folks around here give.